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Midwest Sue
02-20-2012, 01:33 PM
Because I am feeling more secure every day in my sobriety, I decided that it's time to readjust my focus to something outside of myself. Honestly, I'm feeling a little selfish, and selfishness is what I'm trying to leave behind.

I went back and read this from one of Patrick's articles:

"Each person has a gift for the world and when they started using drugs or alcohol they got derailed from their mission in life. They were on a path to greatness and addiction sought to destroy that path. Now that you are in recovery you have to get back on that path and push yourself to do great things. If you do not rise to this challenge then you could easily end up relapsing out of sheer boredom.

You were meant to do something positive with your life. Donít just get sober and sit idle. Go make something happen. What are your dreams? What do you aspire to do?"

I may not be ready to do GREAT things yet, but I can start with baby steps. I can notice people around me, and with very little effort I can brighten someone else's day. That's a start, right?

Will you join me in performing random acts of kindness and posting them in this thread? It doesn't have to be every day, and it doesn't have to be anything that would earn you a Nobel Peace Prize.

Maybe it's telling a cashier that you appreciate how efficiently they do their job. Maybe you compliment a co-worker on the color of their sweater.

Let's try to spread just a little joy on a regular basis. Or notice when someone has done something unexpected that makes you smile, and share that with others here.

What do you say?

What random act of kindness did you perform, and what was the response?

What did a stranger do or say that made you smile?

Midwest Sue
02-21-2012, 09:51 AM
I will start:
Yesterday I sent a "thinking of you" card in the mail to a friend I haven't been in touch with for a couple of months. I know she appreciates getting mail, and it is certainly out of character for me to do this. So this counts as random.

fiona
02-21-2012, 10:32 AM
I like this idea...At a meeting I attended yesterday on Autism, I made it a point to talk to an Autistic High school student whose art work was on display and let him know how incredible it was.

_Erin_
02-21-2012, 11:00 AM
I LOVE this idea! I think I'm going to try adding 30 days of this to my 30 days of exercise. I feel like I've been being selfish lately, too, and selfish gets me nowhere. I always notice more good coming my way when I'm "paying it forward" vs. being focused on what I can do for myself. I just get "stuck on stupid." LOL Awesome idea, Sue! Thank you!

Love the RAoKs so far! You both probably just made their day! :)

Ken1
02-21-2012, 11:43 AM
Erin, arraghhh? (I'm trying to spell the sound Scooby Doo makes when he is consfused) You said "I've been being selfish lately" and that is not the way I see it! You are always so kind and supportive to everyone that needs your help, so thank you for all you great contributions to this great forum! I do agree with "selfish gets me nowhere" and am going to write that on a post it and stick it on my computer. I hope you have a good afternoon.

Sue, you have come up with a great idea here, perhaps it will have a "butterfly effect" on the rest of us, it has me for sure!

Fiona, good for you for supporting that young person, I think you are a good person and you make some very intelligent posts through out this site! Thanks to you for your contributions.

Midwest Sue
02-21-2012, 01:51 PM
There are SO MANY acts of kindness posted daily throughout this forum, and I'm grateful for all of them.

In this age of digital communication, I sometimes need to push myself to have more meaningful face to face time with people. Does anyone else feel that way? Now that I'm sober and clear headed, I seem to be more open to real eye contact with folks.

Today I presented a small gift to a coworker who is a first-time father - a logo baby outfit representing his favorite baseball team. It was something I picked up in my thrift store travels for almost nothing, but it meant a lot to him. He's a guy who doesn't smile a whole lot at work and he was clearly tickled. It was nice to share that moment with him.

fiona
02-21-2012, 06:00 PM
Sue, I think its human nature to "cave up" during times of healing and seek contact and share when feeling good. I know technology gives us a barrier, which can be protective, but when we are feeling better f2f isn't so threatening, and actually feels good.

Ken you made my day!

Out to dinner tonight I wrote a note to our server on the back of the bill thanking her & telling her we enjoyed her service.

Molly
02-21-2012, 06:51 PM
I keep making that scooby-doo noise ... too funny! Turn on your sound!

http://www.hark.com/clips/nkjgjfqpxm-scoobys-aaaarug

fiona
02-22-2012, 06:57 AM
Molly glad I wasn't the only one...also couldn't stop with "Rut Row Raggy" lol

Ken perfect description.

Ken1
02-22-2012, 08:14 AM
Molly, I needed to laugh this morning, thank you! I played that clip at least 5 times and laughed every time.

Fiona, you made me laugh too with the "rut row raggy", thanks! Great idea writing a note to your server. I was in the restaurant business for a long time and you seldom hear the good feedback, most people only feel the need to voice complaints, seems backwards to me. I'm sure your sever was thrilled, good for you!

Sue, how very thoughtful of you. You and Fiona demonstrate perfectly that it's not about the money, it's about the feeling behind it. Well done!

Good morning Erin!

fiona
02-23-2012, 07:59 PM
So yesterday I tried to reach out to my sister in law who turned 40 and thinks its the end of the world.LOL but that didn't go so well. Tonight met a friend, who has been down, for a painting class & support. Interestingly, I almost always smile at people, always say thank you, but noticing opportunities for RAoK seems harder than it should. Going to have to work on that, cuz I really like this idea.

_Erin_
02-28-2012, 11:04 AM
I just got back from giving blood at a blood drive, so I think that counts as my RAoK #1! Fiona, I agree with you... I always am the first to smile, always thank people, but the RAoK seems hard for some reason :)

fiona
02-28-2012, 12:40 PM
Yesterday I gave a friend some of the extra food I made for dinner because I know she hates to cook.

fiona
02-29-2012, 07:51 AM
So I woke up this AM with a thought and sent the following TXT to about a dozen people.

"There are approximately 18 Leap Days in an average lifetime. Hope yours is as wonderful as you are!!!!!

Please consider it sent to all who read it...

Happy Leap Day!

dale
03-01-2012, 07:54 PM
I held the door open at Paneara for a really long time and helped an old, frail woman get inside and hey in line. I was in a rush to get out, and the old me would have just blown her off. I think sobriety gives us the strength to be better people.

ClarkeD
09-03-2012, 02:26 AM
The idea is really great.
I adore that such ideas occur in one's mind.
This is awesome!

_Erin_
11-05-2012, 09:42 AM
My boss is this fantastic woman who never thinks of herself, works crazy hours to keep things going, and never complains. In our company, regarding vacation time, if you don't use it, you lose it. Today, I emailed her boss, told him how invaluable she is to us, and asked him to consider getting her compensation for her unused vacation time, which I know she has at least 3 weeks left. (He agreed, saying "she is the glue that holds the office together," and he will see what he can do. At very least, will have her unused 2012 time extended into January 2013.)

Millie
11-05-2012, 11:01 AM
Well done!!

_Erin_
11-12-2012, 08:14 AM
There is a "freecycle" group in my area on Facebook where you can find people either requesting things they need or giving away things they no longer need, all free of charge. Found a girl that has a little girl younger than mine that could use some of my little girl's outgrown clothes, and I'm dropping them off at her house today after work :)

_Erin_
11-14-2012, 08:17 AM
I'm a big-time believer in karma, what goes around comes around, you get what you put in, always be thankful, think positive and you receive positive, etc., so I thought it would be good to also share when we receive a random act of kindness, not just when we do them. I was the recipient of one last night... a friend of my sister's (acquaintance of mine) has two little girls. She dropped off 4 bags full of clothes, snow pants with a matching coat, and two brand new bedding sets for my little girl. Not one outfit had stains, rips, holes, or was in any shape other than "like new." Some even still had the tags on them. Don't always know what you'll get when you receive hand-me-downs, but this was like I had just gone on a shopping spree, without having to spend the money! Felt very blessed :)

_Erin_
11-26-2012, 06:48 AM
That's awesome, Tim!

_Erin_
04-19-2013, 11:40 AM
Good advice, thank you :)

_Erin_
11-08-2013, 01:58 PM
Just saw this... SO COOL. I'm going to do some of these. :)

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/83648844/

Periwinkle
11-08-2013, 10:34 PM
Love it :) Part of the "Just for Today" it talks about doing a random act of kindness daily and I've been enjoying it. It's true that when you give, you receive...a warm fuzzy heart :)

_Erin_
11-13-2013, 08:02 AM
I bought $10 worth of $1 scratch-off tickets this morning and am excited to affix them in various public places and hopefully make someone rich. :)

carol
11-13-2013, 08:39 AM
Just saw this... SO COOL. I'm going to do some of these. :)

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/83648844/

Erin, this made my day! Way cool!

Yesterday I held the door open for an old woman, the day before I went out of my way to go say thank you to a WWII vet in the grocery store, but these are tiny compared to the ones in the post.

I'm taking a minute and thinking how truly wonderful our world would be if every single person did something nice for someone else every day.

_Erin_
11-15-2013, 07:10 AM
A local radio station has been talking about a program called "Christmas Wish" that they do every year. They're requesting nominations for families in need, they invite them to a huge Christmas bash and then make their Christmas wishes come true. Sending off a nomination for my friends who lost their daughter to cancer last February. Couldn't fill out the form without crying :)

_Erin_
12-02-2013, 07:27 AM
^^I just wanted to comment and report some happy news - I got (missed) a call from the radio station last night, asking what they could get my friend and her family (she has another daughter just a year younger than the one they lost) for Christmas. Been crying off and on since I heard the voicemail last night lol I'm so excited for them!

carol
12-02-2013, 12:16 PM
Erin, that is wonderful news! You are such a special person. Tears, smiles, and hugs to you!
Carol

_Erin_
12-04-2013, 06:26 AM
In my opinion, of course that counts as a random act of kindness! Dogs are people, too! lol :) Welcome, Janneha!

carol
12-16-2013, 02:42 PM
My husband and I paid off the layaways for toys for 2 families. It felt really good to do something nice.

_Erin_
12-18-2013, 06:20 AM
Awww... how sweet, Carol! :)

Saturday we stopped to fill up on gas, so I left one of my scratch-off tickets on the pump. Then we headed to get my daughter's birthday cake from the grocery store. When they brought it out there was a big bubble under the frosting and the cashier goes, "This is unacceptable, I'm getting a manager." They talk, then the manager asks me how much she charged me for it. I told her I hadn't paid for anything yet. She took the ticket off the cake box, hands it to me and says, "Tell your daughter to have a happy birthday! This will get taken care of and won't happen again if you ever come here again." I thanked her and was in shock... I expected maybe a discount but not a free $25 cake! I told John, "See? My 'good karma' already worked." :)

Periwinkle
12-18-2013, 08:38 AM
Awesome Carol!
Erin, that's a great story on karma :)
I try once a week to pay for someone behind me in the drivethru, it's actually kinda neat cause sometimes it starts a chain of folks paying for the person behind them and gets called into the radio station. I have had someone else pay for my lunch that way too. It's good to know there are some good hearts still out there in the world!

_Erin_
12-18-2013, 09:15 AM
That's awesome! And I agree, it's nice to know there is still caring and compassion :) I'm going to try to work your idea into my routine, too!

Alana
12-18-2013, 02:31 PM
Reading these acts of kindness made my day. It makes me wish I had all of you in my real life, not cyber.

I've seen on the news the layaway stories. And I LOVE the drive thru idea. You ladies are awesome.

Periwinkle
12-19-2013, 11:23 AM
I believe people come into your life for a reason, there is no accident, even if their role is minor, even if their role is unpleasant and cause for you to grow. Last Sunday at church, I met a woman who came alone, who just happened to have a son stationed in the same town as my mom's hometown in Japan and she missed him terribly as they were close. As we were going through services, I noted that she was sitting next to me with tears running down her face. I squeezed her hand to let her know it was ok and at the end when I gave her a hug as she told me how lonely she was and how hard it was this season to get into the spirit as everything in her life seemed to be falling apart. We locked eyes as we said goodbye and all this week I've been thinking of her and praying for her. I may never see her again and never know if things get better, that's the hard part sometimes of living life, we don't always know the effects we may have on other people who cross our lives. Sometimes I wish we could have an angel like Clarence to show us. For those who believe in prayer, can you say a little prayer for this woman? I know how it feels to be so lonely at a time when everyone seems so cheery and pray that she will find a ray of hope to hang on to. Thanks.

reckbates
01-05-2014, 11:21 AM
- Distribute blankets to homeless people
- Ask an old person you know if you can do their shopping for them (and put away the stuff, too)
- Tell some girls who look down that they look beautiful or something cliche (no W/K, you're not trying to achieve anything other than complimenting them).

And I'm out.

Periwinkle
02-20-2014, 02:21 PM
63 Saw this and made me think of you Erin :)

_Erin_
03-31-2014, 07:58 AM
^^ I just saw that last post, Peri, thank you! Love it :)

It's FINALLY looking like spring in Michigan, so Saturday we took the car to the car wash to spray the mud off. I started feeding my dollar bills and it only took two, then stopped taking them. So I pushed the "refund" button and got my $2 back, thinking I'd just go use the self-service sprayer. An older guy walks up and asks if I'm having trouble. I explained what happened and that I was just going to go use another wash. He said, "Hang on, maybe it's just jammed, I'll go get my key." Had no idea I was talking to the owner... he walked back with his keys, messed with it a little, stuck his little coupon voucher thing in and it worked. I went to hand him my money, and he said, "Nah, go ahead. Sorry for the trouble, have a good day!" I thanked him and drove in... he didn't have to do that, I got my money back, it was no big deal. But his little $6 gesture made my whole day :)

Periwinkle
03-31-2014, 11:09 AM
Awesome! :)

_Erin_
04-10-2014, 11:31 AM
Had a few crappy days last week - nothing major, mostly emotional due to hormones, lol. My boyfriend sent me some gorgeous spring flowers with a note that said, "Just wanted to thank you for everything you do!" I count this as a random act of kindness because it is an unprecedented action for him... not much of a lovy-dovy, show-your-emotions kind of guy. But he has really stepped up and made me glad I stuck it out with him lately!

And then today, I got some happy news just 10 minutes ago. A local women's magazine and a local salon teamed up to do a makeover, you had to explain in 100 words or less why the person you nominated deserved to get the makeover. I nominated my friend Mindy, the same mother that lost her daughter to cancer (and that I nominated for the Christmas Wish program before). They called to let me know they chose Mindy :) I had actually forgotten that I had entered her, it was a happy surprise!

_Erin_
04-15-2014, 06:53 AM
Brought sloppy joes in for the office today :)

AllenBerg
05-29-2014, 09:36 PM
ARK - Act of Random Kindness.. had this from one of my favorite movies.

bought my niece a pair of leather shoes for her school. :)

Tere
04-10-2016, 09:14 PM
I love this post! I brought the homeless shelter in a box full of earplugs, hairdryer, curling iron, soap, shampoo, dental floss, toothpaste, and brushes. Felt great to give! I gave away my smile today to strangers in the store I was shopping at.

Sober Female
04-11-2016, 11:43 AM
Tere, thanks for posting! Love your act of kindness :)

Tere
04-13-2016, 09:36 AM
TY Sober Female!

~No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted~ Aesop