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View Full Version : Cold turkey or not? Need advice.



Stone
03-04-2012, 03:08 PM
Hello to all. I have been a fairly heavy drinker for years now. It's now starting to interfere with my relationship, and I have my first baby on the way! During the weekdays I usually drink between 6 and 10 beers. On the weekends it tends to be 12 and up. I know I need to stop for the sake of myself and my relationship. I still like to drink though. So here's the question, should I stop all together, or maybe just keep it to the weekends only? I know there is no right or wrong to this question, but I just thought that maybe someone has been through this and might have some input. Today is my first day on this sight and I have read a lot of the threads here. Wish I would have found this sight a long time ago. I wish everyone well on whatever journey they are on!

Ken1
03-04-2012, 05:29 PM
Hey Stone, I have found that moderate drinking is impossible for myself and not worth trying to manage. It has always led directly back to binge drinking for me. I would suggest going to the main site and reading Patrick's articles, plus going through the How to Stop Drinking and Getting Started threads tons of great insights in all of those. You can start with these two articles: http://www.spiritualriver.com/how-to-stop-making-excuses-finally-quit-drinking-for-good-and-stick-to-your-plan-to-live-a-better-life/ and http://www.spiritualriver.com/wordpress-2.0.4/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/passiveLiving2.pdf

Here is an excerpt from one article that I think applies to your question and is one of my favorites:

"Why was I a drunk? Because it was fun. It was a blast. Until it wasn’t. The unbelievable thing was how long I continued to drink and self medicate after it was no longer fun. The unbelievable thing was the denial, that I clung to the false belief that getting drunk was still fun. But it had stopped being fun a long time ago. Your job is to realize this.

Realize that drinking will never be as effective for you as it once was.

Yes, it used to be great. Way back in the early days, drinking was fine, it was fun, it was even useful for you. Beneficial in some ways.

But those days are long gone. Now your drinking is a ball and chain."

More from the same article: "Is it possible to get sober when you really do not want to stop drinking at all?

Yes and no.

Is it really possible to develop willingness out of thin air? How can you motivate yourself to change?

There are at least 3 pieces to this. Realize that:

1) Nobody totally wants to quit.
2) Those who do quit make the decision anyway.
3) Those who succeed take action following the decision."

I hope to see you in the forums and hear about all your success.

Stone
03-04-2012, 06:57 PM
Thanks Ken1 for the response. I was thinking the same thing the whole time, I just needed someone to tell me I guess. I know I can't drink in moderation, impossible! lol. I'm drinking as I type this message but I'm praying that tomorrow will be my "first" day one. I love this site and I think it will be a great tool for me leading my new life. Again, thank you.

Ken1
03-04-2012, 08:13 PM
Stone, I saw you posted in the main thread How To Stop Drinking, so I'll see you over there. Moderation is just not manageable for most heavy drinkers. I see you are going for day 1 tomorrow; I think you will find great support here from a lot of good people here that have a ton of collective knowledge that can really help you out. The best part is that we all got that knowledge the hard way and can put ourselves in your shoes. Good luck and see you around.

Locus
03-06-2012, 08:36 AM
Hi Stone,

I'm not qualified to give any input but as the drinking you describe is almost exactly the same as mine is/was I thought I'd share my experience. I spent the last 5 years or so trying to cut down or trying to quit. Sometimes I'd cut down for a while, I found switching to red wine from beer would mean I drank less but this was always a temporary thing as time and time again I'd be back on the beer. I think in the end I got as tired of trying to control my drinking as I was tired of drinking too much itself. So with the help of this site I stopped completely nearly two months ago. So, like Ken said above I learnt the hard way that moderation just wan't going to be an option for me.

Good luck with your journey and remember there are great people on this site.

Locus

...again
07-02-2012, 02:51 AM
Hi Locus!
I am new to this site as well. I quit drinking in Feb 2012. Now i am currently getting off pain killers. http://www.spiritualriver.com/forum/showthread.php?2-How-to-beat-hydrocodone-addiction/page41 you can read my stoy at this address. I for years had tried the moderation thing. I feel like as an addict/alcoholic I made/make excuses to help make me think it is all going to be OK...as long as I did this...or as long as I felt bad about that....even knowing that I had a problem drinking or taking pills (admitting) made me THINK I had it under control, 'so there, all better'. I was kidding myself for a long time. It wasn't till my brother beating me half to death did I see what I could turn into.
God Bless you, and even though I am a stranger I am very proud of you!!!