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View Full Version : How does one Let Go and Let God?



martinbeck
05-14-2013, 02:51 PM
Hello there,

I'm 6 months sober and am loving being part of the AA fellowship. I have sponsor and I'm on step 4. This weekend I was really exhausted and kind of let my program slip. It didn't take long for me to get really miserable and full of self pity and I ended up having the same kind of weekend that I used to have with a hangover. I couldn't face going to work yesterday and my sponsor told me I needed to take constructive loving action and pray for an emotionally sober day. I just couldn't. I tried but it just wasn't happening. I felt like I had lost my connection to my higher power then I started to panic that it wouldn't come back. I feel much better today after going to a couple of meetings and speaking to friends in the fellowship but I just wondered if any of you who have been around for longer ever get this? I worry sometimes that maybe I don't believe enough. How do we know when we really really believe in a higher power?

Thanks and all the best.

carol
05-14-2013, 06:00 PM
Martin,

First, congratulations on 6 months sober! That is awesome. If you haven't done so recently, take a moment and really give yourself a pat on the back. No, really do it, self-doubt and all.

I have been free for 2 years now. I have the utmost respect for AA and know it has worked and continues to work for many people, including many people here on this forum. My personal choice was to use the creative theory of recovery described in various articles on the main page and in the link I will post below. It's from Patrick, the founder of this forum. So bear with me for a moment while I approach your question from a different point of view and then circle back.

Take a look at this "Addiction Help Guide: A handbook of insight for addicts & alcoholics", again written by Patrick:

http://www.spiritualriver.com/wordpress-2.0.4/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/AddictionGuide2.pdf

One of the concepts is that what's needed for long term sobriety is different than what is needed in early recovery. "The fact is that you have to change, grow, and progress as you grow personally in recovery. Anything less than this and you risk sliding back towards your old habits." He goes on to talk about what this growth looks like, and does include 12 step programs in it, by the way.

My sense is you have been successful in early recovery and are starting into what's next, and it's scary. The comment above about changing and growing is so similar to your sponsor's sage advice to "take constructive loving action".

Do you know / remember the acronym of threats to sobriety HALT - Hungry, Angry, I'm drawing a blank on the L (lonely?), Tired. You were exhausted. Then you panicked. It's natural.

Deep breath time. Trust yourself. Yes, you believe enough, look at your accomplishment of 6 months! That doesn't mean there won't be bumps in the road. Keep growing. Don't get complacent. Look at this scary weekend as a blessing. You got exhausted, you felt hopeless like you used to, YOU DIDN"T DRINK! It's an opportunity to learn what you need to learn and grow and feel now to keep going.

My 2 cents worth. . .