View Full Version : [NEED YOUR ADVICE] Topics you want to see covered?

Patrick Meninga
09-30-2013, 05:25 PM
What topics would you like to see on the main website?

Please let me know in this thread. Thank you!

10-04-2013, 08:16 PM
How about your advice on books to read in recovery? One of my favorites is Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...and it's all Small Stuff. Or, When Everything Changes, Change Everything.

Patrick Meninga
10-07-2013, 06:19 PM
That is a great suggestion! Will definitely try to write something up soon....

10-08-2013, 06:19 AM
I recently got a call from one of the people I sponser and she had been abandoned at a local hospital by her husband after a relapse. There was no detox there or anywhere near. I picked her up and to force the nearest rehab center to take her I got her drunker and dropped her after hours. They took her and she is now in an inpatient program. Her husband said not to ever contact her or him again. I am struggling with this. She had been turned down for inpatient by her insurance company and had been through outpatient. Wasn't enough for her to examine herself and see why she was medicating, self-medicating. I forced the insurance companies hand and the rehab centers hand by going after business office hours. She said her husband was not happy with me and that she would contact me, that he was there now. So there is my answer. Wait and hope she finds her path in inpatient. I hope I did the right thing. What do you think about what I did?

Patrick Meninga
10-08-2013, 09:27 AM
@ Marenoff - That is a tough situation and you should NOT beat yourself up over it. It is really, really hard to help someone who is in that state. I have been there recently myself trying to help a hopeless drunk.

That said, I am not surprised that her husband is pushing people away.

And in the future I don't know if I would give someone more alcohol to try to get them to treatment (though to be fair, an interventionist once tried this offer to get ME to go to rehab once, so it definitely happens!).

You did the best you could, now it is time to let your higher power handle the details. Give yourself credit for trying to help as best you could.

The reason it is so hard to help alcoholics and addicts is because they have a tendency to struggle. Sometimes for years or even decades. So it is very tiring.

Give yourself credit!

Average female
10-08-2013, 01:48 PM
i put off accepting I had an issue because of a few issues, first - I felt I hadn't hit this 'rock bottom' i'd heard of despite my drinking controlling my life and, if I was truthful it was really upsetting me. Secondly, I was holding down a good job and not drinking til after 6pm most days - so that couldn't be that bad?. Finally, I felt I needed to establish this magical 'thing' that makes me drink to excess all the time.
In reality, there is no 'rock bottom' for me - yet, and I don't intend for there to get any closer to being one. I could have been a lot sharper at work. Lastly, I don't believe there is any one thing that has driven me to drink...
There is an interesting piece on lies we tell that could jeopardise our recovery on the main site. I think it would also be good to dispel the myth about 'what an alcoholic should look like or experience'?
Thanks for providing the forum - it's so helpful.

10-08-2013, 09:32 PM
Thanks Patrick,
So good to read a truth that is easier to hear. My higher power is totally where I have gone with this. I honestly did not want to throw her back to a shame place she was in trying to get sober in. Her relapse was a cry for help in my heart I feel. It's not about me, I have to remember. If we are to travel this journey together, HP will see she and I connect again. I pray my love and sincere hope for her spiritual awakening flushes over her to carry her back on our path. Peace

10-08-2013, 09:43 PM
A topic that my latest post has spurred would be just as we can not force an alcoholic or addict to accept recovery, we cannot force those who are not in the throws of the alcoholic or addict accept the disease and move forward to recover as a part of the alcoholic or addicts new way of life. Denial is not just for the one who is in treatment for alcohol or drugs. I still have girlfriends I grew up with that say "Girl, your not an alcoholic you were just married to a jerk." Thank God I am the one person it matters to that that is denial. Love my friends in recovery and not there yet ones too.