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_Erin_
12-20-2013, 09:56 AM
Resolutions are so easy to set come January 1st, and seem so easy to break by the end of the week. lol To me, a goal might be a better idea - if you mess up, you can always try again or reset your goal. (I have to credit my good friend, Ken1, for this idea, though... despite not having talked to him for ages, he suggested this way of thinking a year or two ago.)

I could resolve to lose weight in 2014, which is kind of vague, or I could set a goal to lose xx amount of pounds by xx date, which then gives it substance and makes it attainable.

You could resolve to stop drinking in the new year, then feel awful about yourself if you don't make it. Or you could set a goal of not drinking for 7 days, giving yourself less chance of failure, and making the goal less overwhelming than 30 days, 60, 90, a year, etc...

Am I making sense here? Ok, good.

Part of my reason for starting this thread is because I have literally NO skills in goal-setting. I have not set one goal in my life, much less achieved one. I think it's about time I do that, because I have experienced how it feels to accomplish something - I think it would be an even greater feeling to set my sights on something, put it down in black and white, AND accomplish it. So here a couple of my 2014 goals, just off the top of my head.

1. I wanted to start up an Al-Anon group in my area, since the one I used to attend folded. I saw a flyer in an office a week and a half ago - someone else beat me to it. (Guess I shouldn't have waited 3 years. :) ) I put the number in my phone, and I want to call and see if they need any help. One idea I had was to see if they would like to offer a daycare service to people that might not be able to attend for lack of a babysitter, and I would watch the kids. Then I could keep my little girl with me, she would have playmates, and I would still be helping. My goal to at least make the call will actually be Jan. 1.

2. This year, I was able to help a friend's family while they were in need by nominating them for a program. I love how it made me feel to help someone that was dreading this time of year, as I usually am. I want to set aside a minimum of $10/week so next year I can fund a Christmas surprise myself.

3. I also want to start setting aside $20/week as a savings/rainy day/emergency stash.

4. In July 2014, I will have been at my job for 15 years and manage 3 departments by myself. Not trying to sound self-important here, but I've never seen myself as "good enough" to ask for a raise. I'm giving myself until the first of August to stand up for me and request a pay increase.

5. Sometime in 2014, I want to participate in a fun marathon - either a Warrior Dash, Zombie Dash or a fun run or color run. I know pretty much nothing about running, or marathons, or even how to find out about marathons happening in my area, so I will refine this one and set a more specific date once I learn more.

I'm trying to keep myself accountable - I'm on this site every day, there should be no reason I can't keep up on these goals, add more, and check them off as I achieve them.

I challenge the rest of you to set a goal or two and post them here!

carol
12-22-2013, 11:32 PM
Erin, good idea. One thing I'm noticing as I start thinking about next year is I have a lot of "almost done" things hanging around from this year. Example is I helped run a fundraising effort this year which was very successful, yay, but I have put off doing the thank you notes and update the donor list for next time. Not a big deal, but I have this pattern of getting the big stuff done and then not quite getting it over the goal line. I have several volunteer things hanging out there like this. So first I'm going to resolve to get these closed before Jan. 1! And to post here when they're done.

_Erin_
12-30-2013, 10:55 AM
Hallelujah! The forums are back up! :) I hope everyone is still checking every day, like I did, and finds their way back here.

#1 on my list is done. I called on 12/26 and the lady was thrilled at the idea of having a babysitter while the meeting is going on. Al-Anon likes to certify people - background check, references of character from other members - so that people trust you with their children. Totally understand that and am willing to comply. I'll be there this Thursday evening to start establishing my relationship. :)

Happy New Year, everyone!

Periwinkle
12-30-2013, 11:27 AM
That's an awesome idea Erin. I know many struggle with what to do with young kids who aren't old enough for Ala-teen. Our group lets the women bring children in under 2 cause they won't be able to understand the content of the meetings and most behave and not too much of a distraction and besides, it's a small intimate group with max 20 showing up at a given time, but usually less than a dozen of us. We do have an AA meeting that is huge, also upstairs that runs at the same time, so often both parents are going to meetings or they switch off Saturdays so one can stay home with kids. It's at a church classroom with plenty of extra rooms available, so I might run it by my leader and see if we can't get something similar started for kids and rotate with volunteers to watch the kids for an hour or 90minutes.

This year will be one of getting medical issues addressed, and hopefully finances back on track. Rehab centers are expensive, esp cause we had to front the cash first and then having the downtime while in recovery, not to mention in the past year finances went to the crapper from one too many drunk expenses, mainly on the other half, but I had my moments of compulsive spending to deal with it all too. Signed up for a 3 month course with my church for a Dave Ramesy Financial program. Fitness wise, I would like to lose the 10lbs for good. I keep getting close, then gain 8 back, then lose 8 and then gain again...lol! Figuring out cardio burns is challenging in the winter and with modification from the injuries. Also continuing with classes, signed up for Spring and maybe get in a writers workshop. 2014 is all about doing the next right thing. Baby steps, but steps forward nonetheless. 2013 was a metamorphosing year, so I think it's time to test out the wings a bit :)

sylvane
12-31-2013, 12:02 PM
Happy New Year everyone, toast to a Sober one! Goals? I think they are going to be an everyday action: to stay sober and not drink, to take care of myself and focus on me! my happiness, to help others when/if I can. kinda of a biggie for me> Stop the focus/worry on what I have no control over and focus on only what I can control, that includes giving up on caring what others think about me, who cares anyway? they sure the hell aren't paying my bills! there may be an exception to this if someone shows up and wants to pay my expenses. Cheers!

Chad
01-02-2014, 07:12 PM
Erin,
I finally decided what my New Year goal is...
In 2014, I will keep running and enjoying it, but will add weightlifting to it.. My weight room is almost finished so will not have to go to a gym.. I have spent some dough on it so I have to use it or wifey will SHOOT me..:) How's that for helping make a workout goal.?

Chad

dav
01-03-2014, 07:46 AM
Yeah, I'd definitely like to add weights to my fitness routine, Chad. Since I gave up drinking my wife has been saying I'm way too skinny. I can really notice the lightness in terms of my endurance during long-ish distance runs, though, and I like it.

_Erin_
04-21-2014, 08:58 AM
#4 on my list is completed... just submitted a request for a substantial pay increase, with research references, with my self-appraisal form. Even though the worst they can do is say 'no,' I'm still kind of nervous. :)

carol
04-21-2014, 10:23 PM
Erin, good for you! I've got my fingers crossed. Let us know how it goes.

zohaa3492
09-26-2014, 09:47 PM
I'm 6 months sober and am loving being part of the AA fellowship. I have sponsor and I'm on step 4. This weekend I was really exhausted and kind of let my program slip. It didn't take long for me to get really miserable and full of self pity and I ended up having the same kind of weekend that I used to have with a hangover. I couldn't face going to work yesterday and my sponsor told me I needed to take constructive loving action and pray for an emotionally sober day. I just couldn't. I tried but it just wasn't happening. I felt like I had lost my connection to my higher power then I started to panic that it wouldn't come back. I feel much better today after going to a couple of meetings and speaking to friends in the fellowship but I just wondered if any of you who have been around for longer ever get this? I worry sometimes that maybe I don't believe enough. How do we know when we really really believe in a higher power?

carol
09-26-2014, 10:55 PM
zoha, first congratulations on 6 months sober! It's great you have a sponsor and are working the program. I'm no expert but here are a couple of thoughts. First, try gratitude. Just take a minute or ten and think and/or write down what you are grateful for. You may start by thinking there's nothing, but there definitely is - you're 6 months sober (or free as I like to call it) and you have a sponsor - there's two right off the bat. I also suggest you go on the home page if you haven't already and read some of the articles.

Don't worry if you believe enough. What's important that you acted - you sought fellowship and talked to people, you didn't just stew and worry. You didn't drink! And that is good. Don't give up! I'm 3 years sober, and it is worth it. Keep going.