PDA

View Full Version : Advice for the wife of an addict



Linda
05-28-2011, 06:55 PM
My husband left me and my children (we've been married for 19 years) three months ago to live with his mother while he attended in patient rehab for one week and intensive outpatient after that. We both agreed that his drug abuse had gotten really bad and was causing so much pain for me and the children that he needed to focus his energies on himself and his recovery for a while. When he had some sobriety under his belt, he would come back home. He uses cough medicine to get high but has a long history prescription drug abuse. One week after leaving inpatient he began to use again and he has been using on and off ever since. He usually lies about his drug abuse but lately (I think) has been telling me the truth. I am in FA and am working on myself and taking care of my kids in the mean time. My question is, when should I take him back or should I take him back. He doesn't seem to be in recovery although he does admit he has a problem. This situation is making me extremely depressed. I still love him but cannot live like this anymore.

Help,
Linda

Samantha
05-28-2011, 07:31 PM
Hi Linda, you sound like a wonderful caring person. I'm sorry this has gotten you depressed. He can admit he has a problem but actually stopping the behavior is another whole issue. I think you need to take care of you and do whats right for you especially since your depressed. It sounds like he is not in recovery yet. I can only speak as an alcoholic. I had family stand by me as I struggled. But i could only stop drinking when I was ready. I know my family wanted it to happen alot sooner. I'm sending you lots of support and big hug.

Linda
05-29-2011, 07:12 AM
Thanks Samantha for your kind words. I guess I'm just going to have to go on with my life for now and hope he will do something about his drug abuse in the future. I'm still on the bridge with him and I'm trying so hard to lovingly detach. It's not easy. Time to turn this mess over to my higher power for the thousandth time.