View Full Version : I need a friend.

05-30-2011, 09:01 AM
Hi i am Lori, I am married to a drug addict/alcholic for five years. We dont have any kids together but I have 3 from a prior marrage and he has one as well. I feel like im stuck in a rut and spinning my wheels. My husband has stoped doing the drugs and doesnt drink anymore for at least a year. Ok I have to make a correction to that statement, he still does weed which helps control his bipolar disorder. So this is good right, this should mean everythings all better. But its not. There has been so much thats happened I just feel raw. My kids are bascally grown 21,19, 16 My two oldest are out living on there own now living with friends. (Everything just got to bad for them they wanted to leave) My youngest is currently living with his father. I have never felt so alone. My emotions go from one high to the next. I would have thought that now that hes not doing the prescription drugs, coke, and alcholal things would settle. I have tried to go to alonon but with me being the only employed person in the house, I simply dont have the energy after working 50-60 hour weeks to make sure everything gets paid. We are bascally seperated now, but still living under the same roof. Its just all so complicated, I know I am depressed and Ive tried the medications, they dont work for me. I could spend days writing in a blog. Theres just much much going through my head.

My question to everybody, is there anybody out there in the same situation that is willing to listen. I have friends but they can be so judgmental and I just dont feel comfortble talking to them. I would be happy to listen as well! PLease email me. [email protected]

05-30-2011, 02:11 PM
Lorisnne, my heart goes out to you! You are working so hard. I am an alcoholic trying to take the first steps toward recovery, so hearing from me may not be helpful, but I wanted you to know that someone is listening and cares about how you are doing. I am hopeful that someone closer to your situation will also reach out to you. There are a number of articles which Patrick has written and posted on this website which you may find helpful as well, but #1 I think you need to hear that you are not alone! Feel free to share again here or on the "helping alcoholics. . ." threads (or anywhere in the forums!). Good luck and God bless you.

05-31-2011, 02:21 PM
Hi Lorianne, I'm the wife of a drug addict. We have been married for 19 years. He has been in a relapse for the past seven. I just recently asked him to leave and get help. He has been gone for four months and sober for just four days. He went to inpatient and is now in intensive outpatient (neither worked or are working). All I can say is that this disease makes the family members insane and eventually extremely depressed. I have found reading books on co-dependency (Melanie Beatie) has helped me tremendously. I'm still having a very difficult time and I know how you feel about the loneliness. My kids are 22, 17 and 14 and although the last two are still at home (the oldest is away at college) they have their own lives (as they should). All I can say is that I try and live one day at a time, I turn this situation over to God everyday and I'm trying to take care of me (for a change). Good luck to you Lorianne, you're not alone in your suffering.

05-31-2011, 10:23 PM
Yea I can listen as I'm kind of in the same boat. I feel like I am trapped in my house and no where to run. I am also in the same living condition. We are living together and that is about it. Words are very rarely spoken and othing in common. I have gotten to the point where I hate to h
ear the top of a beer can open up. Yes my husbandis a alcoholic and he admits he has a problem but is'nt interested in help. He does'nt realize how low he is getting. Its embarrassing. He runs the bars I stay home. I can't go to a Al a non meeting which I believe I need to as I'm night blind, and all meetings are done at night. Being night blind keeps me in the house with him. Can't move out as I can't afford it. So we are at a stand still. On top of that my son has a pill addiction, and he has had this for five years. We are not at a point where he is stealing. I'm sick to my stomach. Between my husband and my son I feel like running away. Put them both together and there is a lot of yelling. I feel I myself need to be on something, but I think someone in the house has to be ok....

06-19-2011, 10:02 PM
hang in there xox things will go your way.. just hold on for one more day : ))

Jan Jozef
09-13-2011, 11:51 PM
Hi all,
i just need friends,
just like you

09-14-2011, 06:58 AM
Blynn, just wanted to offer a suggestion. If you're really interested in going to Al-Anon, I don't know if it works this way for every group, but for the one I went to, they had a contact number that they made public for anyone interested in attending. I'm positive you could ask for a ride, heck maybe they'd even consider moving the meeting time/place so you could attend. You could also call 1-888-4-AL-ANON and they can help connect you with people in Al-Anon in your area. Or you can even go to www.al-anon.org and attend an online meeting!

It's worth the effort to get there...