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How to stop drinking - Page 1065
  1. #21281

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    This evening has been blah, I feel a bit flat and very tired so going to bed early. Nothing has happened - no stress - just the way I am feeling. I didn't know what to eat so have ate absolute junk which hasn't helped but I haven't done that for ages so not gonna beat myself up over it.
    Janny, you sound better already. Millie how are you. AF are you still working hard?

  2. #21282

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    morning everyone. Had a lie in on this Saturday morning, sometimes I feel that it is a waste doing that but this morning it was worth it. Woke up feeling good.

    How is everyone. Janny, you can tell the difference already in your posts, positive and motivated. It is 69 days for me, I only realized as I have put 70 days on my calendar so I could keep check. Feeling good, more of a way of life now rather than a new thing, however I know not to let my guard down. Family have embraced it too, my hubby is pleased and mentions how different I am looking, a colleague at work pulled me also to say that i was looking well and can you believe it `inspired her` to start some exercise.
    I do think that prior to this I was a wreck to look at probably, so any change for the better was going to be noticed. I was looking at some photos last year and my face was bloated, my mind elsewhere - probably in a glass of booze - and my smile forced. Dont get me wrong, life is still hard and shit happens but drinking does not make it any better at all. I am realizing that now.
    Plus i think so much of my old identity was wrapped up in drinking, I was clever and people saw drinking as part of me rather than a problem for me. I read that drinkers are clever and have very strong will power to keep going and to hide it, now I need to channel that into something different. I can still fall into the trap of `oh, life hasn't changed that much`, or `I haven't changed that much`. But life isn't all about the big bangs. Each day brings subtle moments that all add to a new sober life and it is these that I need to look out for.

    Anyway, that was a bit deep so i will keep it real and go and watch this weeks episode of Americas next top model - my new addiction. have a good Saturday everyone.

  3. #21283

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    I am on day 46. So far, so good. I went out with my gorlfirend’s Last Wednesday. I drank water, while they drank wine. I had a great time catching up and did not miss the wine. They did not care that I was not drinking. It was nice to not have to worry about driving home, to not be tempted to have more wine upon getting home, to happily fall asleep sober. I also started a strict diet on Monday and have lost over 5lbs. That has made me happy. I hope to lose more. Instead of drinking my nights away, I am reading more and going to bed early. I feel more genuinely happy. It is nice to feel proud of myself for a change, instead of disgusted.

    Janny, you sound good! Jillian, day 70 is upon you. That is fabulous. What do you think of This Naked Mindť It is similar to Carr’s book, but with more science. I am also listening to her podcasts. They are great.

    Have a great weekend everyone.

    I would love to hear from everyone else.
    Last edited by Millie; 03-10-2018 at 08:13 AM.

  4. #21284

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    As requested Millie, here I am.

    I've started a new job, so I'm very busy and working longer hours and have little time to log on here, so sorry.

    I'm glad you two are still doing well. As jillian said, not drinking doesn't make life wonderful and all is problems go away. Sometimes you have a load of crap happen and you want to run away from it all and avoid facing it. As we all know, that doesn't make the problem go away and only adds to it. You've still got the original issue and now you've got less money, less motivation, less time and a drink problem.

    I've started getting fit on my cross trainer (and i saw your earlier post AF and know the feeling). I'm doing thirty minutes and about 10km. I just about fall off the thing and really don't like it! Still, like stopping drinking, the results are worth the difficulty at the start. No pain no gain and all that.

    I've a week off work. No idea what I'm going to do with it though. I need a break. I'm suffering quite badly from stress and I'm not sleeping (cats aren't helping!), so I'm hoping a week will be enough to give my brain a break. I tried doing some chores today and got no whereas I'm tired. I tried a bath only to find we're out of hot water. Trying to decide what to do with myself. I want to fit a tv to the wall in the exercise room, but can't find the mounting kit. I've obviously put it somewhere safe. I'm such a muppet.

    Any way, well done you two and janny and Billy...and AF. Time i went and did something with the day. Did i say i was tired? I just want to lie in bed.

  5. #21285

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    Hi all

    I have been sober for 10 weeks. It has and continues to be a huge journey and one that is totally unique to each and every one of us. Please post if you are struggling or just want to say hi. I remember reading so many times and not posting due to me drinking, but that is totally when I should have reached out. This forum is part of my scaffolding of being sober, I feel accountable for my actions and it makes me think rather than being mindless and reaching for a drink.

    janny, Millie how are you doing. Millie you are doing so well, is it around 50 days now. Old timer hope you are sleeping and AF hope you are well and running. And you Peter and everyone else.

    x

  6. #21286

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    Hey all, sorry for silence, glad everyone ok, will update later
    Xx

  7. #21287

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    I hate myself right now. I don't most of the time but this ongoing cycle is forever defeating and I'm sick of hearing the same crap from myself. I'm sick of hearing my same voice. I feel weak, ashamed etc. On a brighter note, JANNY, you had this!!! I checked in once in awhile, too ashamed to say anything but was so excited (and jealous) of how far you had come. We have to remember how freeing it once felt! I thought I was free also and was doing really well with a different mind set but once again am back and can't get traction. I bought the book you mentioned and have been reading it intermittently. I definitely like some of the points!

  8. #21288

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    Tomorrow is day 50!
    Camas,
    Glad you are reading the book. It really helped me stop fighting my unconscious mind and its belief I was getting a benefit from drinking.

    I am so much happier without it!

  9. #21289
    _Erin_'s Avatar
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    Jul 2011
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    Aaahhhh! Look at this! I log in for the first time in months and see sooo many of my favorite people from back in the day. I sure miss the days that we didn't have to wait days in between for someone to say something, but I suppose the only way to change that is to post something. How is everyone? Take care!!
    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
    As you sow, so shall you reap.

  10. #21290

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    morning all

    Camas I know that awful cycle that you are on, what made the different from when you were doing better.

    Hi Erin and AF, Millie you sound strong.

    Janny how are you doing.

    Had a few days where drinking has not entered my mind, I love these days, no internal battle and such a sense of well-being. My negative thinking from old is still very much minimal, I dont find myself day dreaming about myself or others in that awful negative way that I used to. I can still find myself judging myself that I haven't changed enough as a person, or that my life hasn't moved on enough but I try and ignore these thoughts and see them as only thoughts and not the truth.

    I do need to spend time on a morning enjoying waking up sober, got into that old routine of waking up and diving straight into everyday life, nothing wrong in that but I need to take a moment to enjoy waking up sober and being grateful - the washing up can wait.

    Have a good Thursday everyone and look after yourself s.

  11. #21291

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    Mar 2013
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    Millie and Jillian, great to hear your progress. I feel like I got traction since I last posted. Maybe I get it when I'm feeling desperate a little easier. Doing better. Went for a great run. Seeing my counselor/coach again which is really helpful. It keeps me in check. I'll try to keep checking in but no promises because my days are extremely long, but I will try. Have a great week!

  12. #21292

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    Camas, I am glad to hear that you are finally getting some traction. I remember well how hard it is to do so after a slip.

    Erin, I am soooo glad to see you pop in. I was thinking about trying to find you on my fitness pal and tell you to log on. How is your work out going?. That is another thing I need to get back into.

    Have a great weekend everyone!!

  13. #21293

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    Hi everyone - back again. First of all, great to see Millie, Jillian, Janny doing so great! And camas - looks like you are getting back on track. Erin - so glad that you are doing well too - and Old Timer. AF I hope that you are well also SOrry if I have missed anyone - I don't want to scroll back and lose my post.

    I told myself I wasn't going to post again until I had some sober time under my belt - I hate being the broken record. Unfortunately, I don't have time under my belt - but I am getting desperate and have to stop. I have had stretches of 5, 6 or 7 days, but I go right back to my stupid routine and I hate it. There is nothing good about drinking. It is really inspiring to read these posts because I know that it can be done and nobody is going to do it for me. Today is day 1 - feeling like shit...again.... and I am getting too old for this. I am going away for the weekend, so I won't be able to post until Monday - and on Monday I will be saying Day 4!! Have a good weekend all. We can do this

  14. #21294

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    Jul 2017
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    Great to see you Hope and yes you're right, it's best to suck it up and admit its day 1 and just post, as the alternative wasn't working.

    Nice to see you as well Erin. Hope the family are doing good. Millie, camas, AF, Jillian and Janny, I hope you're all okay and sober. I think it's 2 years and 1 month for me today. I get the odd twinge and the odd thought of "I've beaten it now so..." but i know that's BS. I'm glad at times like that that I've told everyone I've quit for good / don't drink and not that I'm having a break so there's lots temptation.

    Just had a week off work. Struggled to relax and the stress has still been there, but have enjoyed some of it like when my wife and I went into town for breakfast. We've bought a nice couch for our entrance hall that was in a sale and I've relented about the coffee table we had and which really doesn't suit anymore.. Which means there's no where for my carved table anymore (as the old coffe table will go there). That's a shame, but have to be realistic.

    Lots to do in the house. I need to deal around the bath, fix lighting, sort leaking sheds, insulate the house more, paint a room, put up pictures... And loads more. No time to drink that's for sure. Today i struggled a bit as i took a sleeping pill last night that left me feeling groggy all day. I just figured my body needed the rest and just lazed around. I'll be back to normal on Monday and no lazing then. I've managed to exercise most days of the week. Too early to see any benefits yet.

    Right, time for a shower and a cold drink and then get on with cooking.

    Don't drink. I know it's Friday and that used to be drink day, but that's what we used to do, not what we do anymore. Hang in there.

  15. #21295

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    Mar 2013
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    hope, please don't stop posting, instead keep checking in. A couple months ago I got my 3 year coin at AA. 3 years! Who knew that a bum like me could make it this far?!? But somehow I made it. And it all started with one day. The day I declared my freedom. And it went from there. You never know when your 5, 6, 7, 8 days of sobriety will stick. But the alternatives to not trying are so much worse. PLEASE keep trying. The sober days add up.
    F$%^ You, Mickey's

  16. #21296

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    Mar 2013
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    Hope, so glad to hear from you. I know it's hard to come back with our tail between our legs, but I think it is that desperate voice inside of us that is done. I started setting my alarm for noon, 2 pm and 4 pm. It's a soft tone since I'm usually in meetings during those times, but it's a reminder of sobriety, a reminder of why I want this. It takes 3 seconds or less for me to make sure I'm still in the frame of mind that I want to be in. I say 4 words to myself: illusion (alcohol making me feel better is only an illusion), strength, family & health. It's a quick reminder of why I want to be sober. I was setting an alarm only for 3 pm but sometimes my mind is already made up. It's helping so far. If I feel like it's not as helpful then I need to change it up before I get complacent. A great run in the sun today. A little walk at the end gave me a chance to realize that I drink out of shame. It starts for shame of not being more, shame of not being enough for my mother in law, and then I drink and there's shame for drinking. Choosing to run instead takes that shame away instead of burying deep into the alcoholic brain. One day at a time. Today was a very good day. I'm at peace for the first time in a long time. Hope, come back and tell us about your wonderful sober weekend!

  17. #21297

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    ByeMickeys, 3 years is so inspiring and shows that one day at a time builds and builds. Hope have a good weekend and stay strong, see you on Monday.

    Camas, I`m doing my first half marathon in 7 weeks, my training is going well but the weather here is terrible at the minute, I couldn't get out last night and I felt my mood go down every so slightly last night due to me missing my exercise. Part of me is over the moon with this, I never thought I would get to a place where my body and mind would miss exercise.

    It has been 76 days for me today, each day is brand new territory, I feel at peace Like Camas and proud of myself. The simple thought of a hangover brings me to my knees now. However if I were to allow myself to have a drink my thoughts immediately go straight to a bottle of wine at least, and several cans of cider, my brain is still hardwired into my addiction patterns, it is this that makes me realize that total sobriety is the only way for me.

    Millie, I promise I will start on the book, I have read some other stuff to mix it up but will start. Janny how are you. AF are you OK

    Have a good Saturday everyone.

  18. #21298

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    Hi everyone - day 4! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the great advice and support. ByeMickeys I can remember when you started posting and the struggles you went through - three years passed by already. A huge congratulations to you

    Old Timer - I hope you got all your work done around the house this past weekend!

    Camas - good advice - I never thought of setting reminders for myself. Like you, around 4:00 in the afternoon I have already decided that I am going to drink, and once the poison thought has entered my mind it is relentless. The days I know I am going out in the evening, I know I can't start drinking and so I don't - and it is never a struggle.

    Jillian - 78 days today I think? Wow- I want to be there too. Even though I am only at 4 days, I already feel proud of myself - I want to look in the mirror and like the person who is looking back at me instead of feeling disgusted


    This past weekend there was no drinking, and not once did I feel anxious, panicky, or anything. It really is a mental problem for me. Today at home again the real struggle begins. I will keep posting and tell you all what works for me.

    Janny, Millie, AF - everyone else - I hope you are doing well. There is no better day than today to stop drinking

  19. #21299

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    Jul 2017
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    Congrats Hope. That's a really good effort. Don't let your guard down and take every moment as it comes.

    I didn't get things done, but that's life. It snowed heavy and was bloody cold. So cold that my eldest's party was cancelled. Instead we went out shopping to cheer her up. Ended up costing me a fortune. I bought barstools for the kids (they've always wanted them - and not for drinking!) and a fancy lampshade for the eldest and shelves and curtains and paint and...

    First day at a new job today. Slept lousy last night worrying, but it went well. Tonight I fixed a lamp which was fiddly and did some insulation. Tired now and ready for bed, but chuffed with the day. I passed someone in work today who stunk of alcohol. No idea if he knew, but I sure as hell did. That would have been me once...

  20. #21300

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    Apr 2013
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    Hey all, just quick check in....
    Great to hear how everyone is getting on, Hope go you - alcohol out the system now...
    Jill - great work, you remind me of some of the thoughts I had when I first stopped and took up exercise. Wish you’d done it sooner? Great work much braver with me with marathon though
    I’m in London a lot. Great opportunities at work and really excited by it. I know I wouldn’t be here (probably at all) if it wasn’t for you lot and it feels so good to have made that right decision and got my act together.
    Due to travel I’m exercising less and that definitely impacts anxiety so I still have to ensure I get a balance. Couple of 10ks booked in and looking forward to that...
    Great work all, you’re all inspiring

    Xx

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