1. #21241

    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    327
    Janny, my thoughts are with you so much.

    You know the drill girl, get back on that horse and lets not make a blip into a full relapse with back to old behaviors. There but for the grace of God go many of us and we are all here to support you. You can totally still do this and in weeks to come you will be able to still have months under your belt other than one lapse. Get rid of any self loathing you have about it and like you say learn from it and take from it what you need, if this shit was easy none of us would be here, none of us learn from the easy stuff, it is the gritty times that teaches us the most.

  2. #21242

    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    982
    Millie and Julian- thanks for the support and I'm carrying on this will make me stronger - no one to blame but me- do have a bit of anger towards SO- he should be supporting me too but he is sick and that scares me- he feels he is invisible. I will make a stronger plan- not going back there or else I will collapse!!
    I appreciate you being on my side and understanding but I am mad- I'm so tired of this and not being better to myself- I feel I've poisoned my body and brain- will need some time to repair. Xoxo

  3. #21243

    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    UK
    Posts
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    Old timer, thank you for your post, almost every point you made is something that has gone through my head.

    I have noticed that week days are better, I have a routine, bed earlier and things to focus on. Week ends are harder, and I am sure that this is true for many so I am going to just have to man up and get on with it. So it is 51 days today, my morning coffee and my evening hot chocolate are my favorite times of the day.

    Everyone have a good Tuesday, Janny, Millie and everyone else x

  4. #21244
    When you want to stop drinking alcohol first of all you have to share this success with your family and friends so that they know why are you cutting down alcohol in parties or trips.They will also encourage you for do that.

  5. #21245

    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,209
    Today is day 28
    4 weeks
    It feels good to get some time under my belt.

    Today I planned a summer cruise with my mother and found my thoughts turning to the free flowing wine and cocktails on the boat and what I was going to do. It is funny how our mind works. I was immediately thinking about how I would not be getting my money’s worth if I was not taking advantage of the included alcohol. I have had those same thoughts when i went to an all inclusive resort while I was not drinking. This weekend I am going to a dance with an open bar and the same thoughts crossed my mind.

    But then I reminded myself of how generally those types of events/vacations are disasters for me. I tend to overindulge in an open bar situations. Instead of worrying about the dance, I am now looking forward to experiencing it totally sober. I will not have to worry about what I say or do. I will be able to remember and enjoy all my conversations. I will have better coordination when I try to dance. I will be able to get safely home as designated driver. And, at the end of the evening when I am able to witness the actions of those that overindulged, I will be happy happy happy I am am not one of them and happy that I will wake up Sunday feeling great!!

    Janny, I hope you are staying strong. Try and forgive your SO and let it go. This ultimately has to be your journey. We have to find the tools to help us get to the right mindset....where we just don’t want to drink, period....where we would rather pull out our toenails than drink that poison again. Willpower alone won’t work. We all know it is easier to avoid something you have no desire to have. It is way harder to want something and try to talk yourself out it through pure willpower alone. That is exhausting. I have that problem ever time I go on a diet. Lol

    The blogs and books help. There is another site I learned about that supports idea that we can all just quit, without the rock bottom, without the disease labels.

    This one is called hip sobriety.com.

    Have a great day everyone.
    .

  6. #21246

    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    982
    Millie good
    for you-
    I know I need to let it gooooo-
    It just makes it that much tougher.
    But so worth it I love being sober and strong and grounded, authentic, motivated, healthy, ambitious, clear headed,smart, grateful, reliable-need I say more!

    I'm looking into the books-Jason Vales book helped me quite a bit-Naked Mind and Unexpected Joy of being sober-
    Will take with me what got me to 100 days and need to figure what happened that made me drink and what I can do differently.

    I remember the moment I changed and succumbed-part of it was pleasing my husband????WTF???UGH.
    Which lead me to half heartedly enjoy the event we were at-spent a lot of time tired and drinking, tired and drinking-did not even do my usual exercise routine!!!
    I keep on changing my routine to fit others agenda instead of being selfish and making me a priority.
    I am not letting this get me down and will grow bigger muscles and practice self care again.
    xoxo
    thanks for your support
    Jillian you are strong and doing so well I'm following you now-looking forward to feeling better this week.
    will try hipsobriety-love the name:0

  7. #21247

    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    2,088
    Janny - no feeling sorry about it, just learn and move forward... it helps...
    SO Is just a trigger... he enables an excuse inside you and so when youíre on holidays etc and other excuses line up, itís showtime! Thatís when youíre at your most vulnerable - same here. Just Learn where your triggers are and be particularly cautious when away/ holiday or when you have a number of triggers coming at you at once... plan for it, ensure you can keeping your routine to avoid temptations etc
    Iím working in London most weeks now.. itís tiresome and thatís still a trigger for me. Hotels and long hours...
    donít dwell on it too much? And defo donít allow yourself to feel a failure... all our journeys are individual and teach us things about ourselves. Beating yourself up will only lead to justifying another lapse...
    It wasnít all that? Made you feel pants... move on.
    Hey Tim, Millie, Chad, Jillian -good to catch up on posts ...
    Stay strong all...

    Xx

  8. #21248

    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    982
    AF I was hoping I would here from you- thanks for your words- I do believe it's a lesson learned- no way am I going back - I can't!!!it felt way to good to be free of the alcohol.
    SO and holiday =trigger.lesson learned and know I need to immediately pack my toolbox- never be hungry,have alternatives for drinks to name a few things.
    I'm busy next 5 days with work - I will feel fabulous on my next day off.
    Xo

  9. #21249

    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    982
    Day 2 -still can't believe I caved this past week-I went away on a vacation and it was supposed to be about staying healthy and strong and getting good sleep. Instead I'm still recovering from an unhealthy week of drinking and half heartedly enjoying the event we went to. But I'm leaving that behind and learning how important sobriety is for me-I will not jeopardize that again. It feels way too good to be sober, clear headed and building a strong sense of self. Picking my head up-pulling my hair back and going to look at everyone in the eyes again-
    so glad you are all here.
    xo

  10. #21250

    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,209
    Af, I am happy to see your post! And Old Timer. Iíve just figured out who you are!! Over two years??? That is fantastic. I am so happy for you.

    Janny, you sound good. I was listening to some of This Naked Mind podcasts, and Annie mentioned how the road we are on is not always straight. She reminds us not to beat ourselves over every slip, but to continue moving forward and learn from our mistakes, just like AF said. A lot of her guests mention that they had to take advantage of a lot of tools!! Books, podcasts, yoga, meditation, etc...

    I glad all of y'all, my old friends from years ago, are still here and posting and sharing what works, what doesnít, and what the challenges are. Your honesty, your desire to have a soberfree life, and your support makes me happy.
    Last edited by Millie; 14 Hours Ago at 08:43 PM.

  11. #21251

    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    982
    Millie so true ups and downs but I hate what I did to my body-I still feel the remnants of last week- alcohol is such a toxin and I am weak from it even feel flu like???
    When you are away from it for a while and think you can go back to the way you were drinking(consumption)it is devastatingly sickening.
    Trying to gain strength-I'm tired and need a lot of self care.
    But I'm staying on track-have no desire to drink.

    Jullian I hope each day you are getting stronger-we need you.
    AF how is your running going and what new things are you up to? Do you keep challenging yourself?

    Have a great day all-lets make 2018 a great year!

  12. #21252

    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    327
    Hi everyone,

    Janny good for you for getting back on it, you can move on away from it day by day. Some triggers today and a drink did pass my mind, but the shit will still be there after I drink, any type of reprieve I would get from drinking will just move on to guilt, shame and feeling physically dreadful.

    Millie you are sounding strong and in a good place. Hi average and old timer, Peter you still reading?

    Thursday evening, getting ready to take the dogs out for a run - have a good one everyone x

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