1. #21221

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    Morning everyone

    40 days today, feeling tons better. It is so worth it and you do find that the days get slightly easier. The voice in your head does become less and you start to experience hours without it, even on the evening when before you would be fixed on drinking.

    plus I am saving so much money I am ashamed as to how much I have spent over the years, trying not to think about it but it has been ridiculous. But no more.

    Have a good Friday everyone x

  2. #21222
    Chad's Avatar
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    Jan 2013
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    Hi All!!
    Great to see so many posts and great advice! Even this many years later, I catch myself thinking �how lucky� people are when they are out partying and they can drink.. When I do that I immediately make myself play it forward and realize I�m so much better off without it.. It�s only a moment but must always be dealt with or it can fester into something bad.. Read all the books you can it is so helpful to read others stories and experiences.. Go on the blogs and read, read, and read more..:-)
    I�m so proud of all of you for working it and succeeding.. Life on the other side is much better..
    Love you all
    It can be done
    It can be done

    Chad
    Well, if it can be thought, it can be done, a problem can be overcome

  3. #21223

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    Chad, great to see you posting! :-). I agree that the books and blogs are very helpful.

    Almost 2.5 week�s. I�ve been surprised at how little I�ve missed it. I have a house full of alcohol from Xmas and it is not tempting me a bit. I haven�t been out much, though. My son has the flu, so I will be laying low all weekend, trying not to get it too. Lol

    I have a big party coming up in a couple of weeks and that will probably be my first real test out in the real world.

    Jillian, glad to see you reach 40 days. Janny and AF, how are y�all. Peter, how are you doing???

    Have a great weekend, everyone.

  4. #21224

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    Morning everyone

    How is everyone doing, Chad I have read some good books and they do help to challenge your mind set. The Joys of being sober by Catherine Grey is a good one. So plans are being made for summer events and weekends away. This is a huge test and I still dont know what to do or feel about it. I have knocked back a few of them which is nothing out the ordinary for me, but there is a couple that I would normally be doing that I have yet to commit too.
    I know that I can never be a social drinker, so even if I was sober til the summer it would take the blink of an eye to get me back into my old ways. So it has to be total abstinence for me. I think I will get involved with certain things that are not drink related and then make my excuses to stay away from the benders. There is nothing in my mind right now that is telling me that I can drink and be normal so I feel safe when going to gatherings, if I didnt then I would just have to simply stay away.

    Very cold and miserable outside but it is glorious to wake up sober and enjoy my coffee. For people still struggling never stop trying and sending everyone good thoughts x

  5. #21225

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    Jul 2012
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    Jillian nice job -you sound so good and comfortable where you are at now and so insightful about your triggers and need to protect your sobriety. The sober mornings are such a gift and pleasure in life-can't imagine waking with a hangover.

    Day 99 for me in my new way of living-loving it and getting easier and easier-less self loathing, negative talk, more overall feeling of well being.
    I've lost the craving for drinking and very little temptation-very aware that I don't want to be under the influence ever again-alcohol made me lazy, insecure and forgetful. I really have stopped at a time when alcohol was not doing much for me anymore.
    I do recognize that I have some underlying anxiety that I was self medicating for some time. This is my challenge to mature and work thru it and grow without the alcohol I have been extremely productive at work and know I would never be able to do what I am doing if I was drinking.

    Millie it sounds like you are doing great too and the days are stringing together. So important to be good to yourself and allow some simple pleasures in your life -like any goodies you want-bath-flowers-new clothes-hair cut etc...in other words spoil yourself you deserve it.

    CHAD!!!!! So good to hear from you. I hope you are injury free with your amazing running challenges-I bet you feel fantastic. Thanks for the words of encouragement and you keep checking in. Life is good it sounds for you.

    AF my SO decided to drink again last night and was sending subtle messages to me like=OK that's enough of this, I've been good, I'm all set now. I did not even flinch-his sobriety is his and mine is mine. I have no desire to drink play it forward if I did and it would be MISERY. Even though he was sober for a month-he has not even begun to reap the benefits because I don't think he ever thought it would be forever-he was just waiting patiently to drink again.

    Thanks for the ideas about books-education is power and can't get enough tips about living life sober-its not always at the center of my attention right now-because I have shut it down and its not an option.
    xoxo

  6. #21226

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    Janny,

    Is today your 100 day, that is massive. So well done to you. you have been such an inspiration and reading your posts have helped hugely. I know that other people will be reading and taking encouragement from your words.

    have a lovely day and spoil yourself

    Jill x

  7. #21227

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    You should be real proud of yourself janny.

  8. #21228

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    Jillian yes day 100!!!! Thanks Peter I am proud of myself.

    Jill I'm glad you feel strength thru what I post. I can only share my story and what has helped me-such a personal journey for all and what helps one person may not help another. Like many have said continue to read all kinds of books and blogs and take with you what works for you-though I do encourage you to try new things.

    I know I had been in a pattern of drinking and dieting working out like crazy but not feeling good-it was a rat race. Sooo I looked at things differently and wanted to simplify the sobriety thing and make it my # 1 priority. That meant;
    + Don't drink
    +exercise if you want-not daily running because it was leaving me feeling tired not energized-go for a walk-point being do something that makes you feel good.
    +eat anything I want
    +drink anything I want-ginger beer-diet coke-chocolate milk and lots of water.
    +read books and blogs
    +take naps
    +take baths

    Those were just some basics that helped me to listen to my body and really rest thru the sobriety particularly at the beginning.
    In the past I would try to get sober-train for a marathon-eat clean-UGH I was miserable.

    This time I was enjoying being sober and loving the way my body was feeling and allowing the rest I needed to get better.

    At 100 days I continue to listen to my body-I feel best about my brain-its clarity, improved memory and I cant imagine drinking alcohol and what it would do to me-especially with aging you just cant recover well.

    I'm regaining that motivation to learn new things and tackle some old projects I had abandoned a long time ago. Life is good

    Spring is coming....

  9. #21229

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    Janny,

    100 hundred days!!! That is fantastic and very motivating! Thanks for all the tips. I am going to try and figure out what day will be my 100th day!!

    I am glad Lent is around the corner. It is easy to justify not drinking during lent! Have a great week everyone and DO NOT DRINK.

    P.s. i am ready for winter and flu season to be OVER!! I am enjoying sleeping better and waking up sober. Those are the main benefits I have noticed so far.

  10. #21230

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    Oct 2012
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    Hi everyone, Peter how are you doing?

    Millie I know what you mean about lent, if people continue to ask me like they have been doing I can use lent - I am glad that you are feeling better too. I am also going to use Lent as a time to look after myself and enjoy the garden, get it ready for the year ahead.
    for some reason Sunday was hard this week, I found myself going down old paths of thinking. It really is better to just say aloud `I am not drinking` to make it real and shut it off.

    Janny you continue to shine and I am so pleased for you.

    Miserable weather here but it is lovely to be cosy at home. x

  11. #21231

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    Mar 2013
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    janny
    F$%^ You, Mickey's

  12. #21232

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    Morning everyone,

    I haven't been able to post for a couple of days, my internet hit and miss and the forum just wouldn't come up when I search for it. So I haven't drank but yesterday was a tough day, found myself thinking about it a lot and it was hard to shut it down. For whatever reason I think I was irritated and angry yesterday. Found myself living in my head a lot yesterday which I haven't done much of since being sober, my thoughts were negative and mean and I ruminated in them. Having these types of thoughts is a definite warning sign for me that I need to be careful and look after myself. Today I feel thankful that I have not drank and guilty over my horrible thoughts.

    How is everyone else doing. I know the forum is quiet but I am so thankful it is here. Have a good Friday everyone xx

  13. #21233

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    Aug 2011
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    90
    How many days has it been jillian? And janny is it day 104?

  14. #21234

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    There was something wrong with the site. I couldn�t get on it either.

    I think I am on day 24.

    Have y�all read This naked mind? It is supposedly supposed to help convince your unconscious mind that drinking has no real benefits and is basically just poison. I�ve read it twice in the last few weeks and I think it is helping. On Fat Tuesday, I treated mysel to dinner at a nice restaurant. The place was crowded, so I sat and ate at the bar. I had no trouble sitting there drinking my water and watching all the drinks be prepared and served. I think it was because of that book.

    I am
    Happy to be rid of alcohol. I am sleeping so much better. And, there is such freedom in being done with it. I love Knowing I am done and shall never be drunk and hungover again.

  15. #21235

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    Oct 2012
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    Hi Peter how are you

    its 47 days for me, . There are some days where I try not to count and then realize that I have clocked up a few more days but I have put certain dates on my calendar on the wall like 100 days and 3 months and so on.

    No I haven't read that book Millie but will get it from Amazon, a good one for me was `the unexpected joy of being sober` by Catherine Grey. She tells her story but doesn't preach about doing it her way and is a big advocate of using whatever tools help you. i like the idea of being able to take strength and ideas from different plans and recovery models. , I am due for another sober read as you are so right in that it helps.

    Are you still struggling Peter, sending you good thoughts x

  16. #21236

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    Jul 2017
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    Just wanted to log in and congratulate Janny on 100 days. Really well done girl. Proud of you.

    Also proud of jillian and millie, it's great seeing you both in double figures. I hope you get into three figures and then four.

    I'd avoid any social events until you're really strong and when you go, have a plan and stick to it. Any flicker of doubt, cancel. Your sobriety is the key.

    Again, really, really well done.

    I'm on two years and two days according to the app on my phone (sober time) and I've saved 2,933. I rarely think about Alcohol these days. When I do, i get a fake beer. Budwieser Prohibition is pretty good. That said, i bought a four pack of bud at Christmas and have not touched anything else until last week when i bought another.

    Going on an "all inclusive" (not my idea) holiday this year and I joked with my wife that I'll have to get back into drinking to make it worth while. Truth is, the holiday will be so so much better without the stuff. Need to work on getting this old decaying body into reasonable shape between now and then. That'll be the challenge, not the drink!

    Oh, moved into our first family home since I was here last. Moving house is stressful!

    Relaxing on Christmas day with a fire burning and family and cats happy in our own house was lovely.

    Talking of cats, the little buggers want feeding it seems. Thank god i don't do hangovers anymore.

    Keep on being free and keep on clocking up the days.

    ... Anyone want a fat ginger cat who is purring in my face? Little stinkers.

  17. #21237

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    Oct 2012
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    Morning everyone.

    I went out last night with the girls, first time since not drinking. I didn't drink and left early and it was actually a good couple of hours. I only went as I knew that I wouldn't stay out and drink, more for childcare reasons than me feeling in the zone. In fact I have struggled these last few days. There is no reason that I can put my finger on, no external stress just normal life. After feeling `safe` for weeks this has come out the blue. Have other people found this - I am just going with it but feeling scared that these feelings will last and wont go away. I am trying to look back on each day and learn from the journey so that I can grow and look forward to the future, feeling a bit stuck with this at the moment but writing and admitting this feels better.

    Oldtimer thank you for your words, glad that your are sober and settled into your new home with your family and cats. My house is full of dogs and dealing with them hungover was a nightmare. I am sure that they know I do not drink anymore and at times are even more affectionate. I know what you mean about saving the money, after 49 days I have saved 400. Oh and I have lost 11 pounds in weight - sorry Janny, I got on the scales x

    So am drinking my morning coffee - which I look forward to even before I fall asleep on a night time, I now finish a full cup and enjoy it all rather than make several and leave them all over the house due to still feeling pissed. I am going for a run and then cooking dinner for the family.

    Have a lovely Sunday everyone x

  18. #21238

    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Posts
    3
    Jillian, I not an expert, but I've certainly experienced periods during quitting where I've felt a number of things that could have derailed me. These have included :

    1. I've quit for x days, so I obviously never had a problem or even if I did, then I've beaten it now and can drink normally
    2. It's taking ages to get to the next milestone I've set myself (felt this recently as I approached two years) and drink is now entering my mind
    3. This is a bit boring, do I have to spend the rest of my life like this
    4. X just happened to me, it's terrible and I want it to go away and drink willl do that briefly
    5. (linked to 3) Alcohol mimics seretonin in the brain. Therefore your brain has reduced the number of receptors it has for seretonin and the amount of seretonin it produces. When you remove alcohol, the brain has to try and get the levels back to normal. Now and then it gets it wrong and overcompensates and you end up feeling a bit grey for a few days until it gets it right again.
    6. Things which are nothing to do with drink. Sometimes we feel low because we're not eating or drinking right or because we're not getting enough fat or fresh air or something sad happened.
    7. We feel we need a reward. So, spend that money you saved on a treadmill or nice running gear. It doesn't have to be all pain and denial. That won't last.
    8. We feel we're missing out. This one you need to work on other hobbies and interests and friends.
    9. You're not drinking enough water. The brain equates thirst with needing an alcoholic drink.

    Watch yourself the next couple of days. It's tempting to think "i did well going out with my mates and not drinking" and think you deserve a reward and your mind (because you trained it that way) will think about alcohol as a reward. So, beat it to it and reward yourself some other way. Get a massage or something better.

    Anyway, really well done for how you've done.

    You will get "bleh" periods, that's just life and you will get itches, that's just addiction. They fade but possibly never totally go away. There are times (not many) when I think I want a drink and it would make x better. I remind myself what a hangover feels like and what that "need" felt like and how much better my life is now I'm not wasting so bloody much of it and then I grab something else.

    Cats want /demand feeding (one of them is getting a right strop on) so better shut this drivel and do as I'm told. I also need a drink, so best get some squash down me and get in with the day.
    Last edited by OldTimer; 22 Hours Ago at 02:41 AM.

  19. #21239

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    Jul 2012
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    977
    As simple as this... I went away on a planned event - 5 days - my SO asked- shall we get wine for the room- I responded how about beer too and the rest is history. Drank a lot had some fun but here I am again in limbo. I have to say I will learn from this relapse but feel the urge to blame my SO- he tells me we need to learn to moderate which we totally did not do this vacation.Dont know really where to go from here- this is a man who is the father of my children who care about him a lot. I am aware of what I could do differently to prepare- but not sure my DO will ever support me- he likes to drink and likes a partner who drinks....
    Will restart tomorrow with the same gusto as before.
    Advise please!

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