Die hard recovery fanatic
Hello everyone I need some advice... again! LOL I'm not exactly sure how to word this and make it make sense, so I'm just going to start typing and hope I string together sentences that are followable.
I feel like I am the most complacent person in the world! Yes, I come here every day, but my thing is I see the changes that I need to make in my life. I think about it constantly, I read up on it, I gather ideas and information... and then I DO nothing. Or, I do something for a little while, a day or two, and then I find myself right back into the same routine. Let me just say that when I read posts about someone going back to Day 1 again and again, I truly feel your frustration, because I'm living it, even if it's not due to alcohol!
I got on here this morning and read, just like I always do, and Sally - your posts really hit home! The comments about resentment and how you resented yourself most because you allowed life to go on while you did nothing - that's me! I just turned 30, and I can't count how many times I've said I wanted to do something, move somewhere new, accomplish something... and what have I done? Not s#!t. I do a lot of talking and not much walking.
I believe fear has a lot to do with why I never make a move. But then, there's other places that I know I need to make improvements, such as exercise - what's so scary about that? Is it just laziness?
I am not happy with what I've done with my life so far. I feel like I have wasted a lot of time and energy taking care of people. Some of those people "needed" my help (whether or not it was really needed is debatable), and some of them didn't even WANT my help.
I woke up in the middle of the night last night and thought about things for 2 hours. I wanted to go to sleep, but I couldn't shut my mind off. I thought about Patrick's articles on exercise - pushing yourself as hard as you can. I thought I should come on here and ask for advice, and then maybe TAKE it. I decided to do something. I got up 10 minutes early this morning, took a brisk walk to the HS track, and ran a lap. A lap probably isn't much to most people, but to me, it really is. In the past, the most exercise I've done is walking. I HATE running. But I remember a time when I was starting to feel good about myself and actually thought about the possibility of running in a marathon one day. A lap was hard, but it's a start, and definitely better than the nothing I usually do.
This morning, I feel better about myself, my circumstances and situation, and my day more than I have in a while. But this is the first day. I know myself, and I give up easily. Most of the time I don't even realize that I've fallen back into the same old routine. Does this ever happen to anyone else? I'd really like some constructive criticism on this. What do I lack? What will keep me on the right track? How do you get over the fear of making a big, life-changing move?
John, my fiance, says "just do it." So why is it so hard? I'm really tired of treading water, I want to move now! I know just about every one of you on here has expertise in getting past that first step, I would really appreciate your insight.
Ok. I just wrote a long reply to your post and just lost it... I don't have energy to retype it again.
Ruth recommended a site, 30 sleeps, because it had a stop drinking thread. I checked it out and it has lots of interesting thoughts, ideas, on personal growth. Check it out. A lot of his articles are thought provoking. In one he discusses how he took some big risks and made big changes at certain times in his life.. I think whole page is about personal growth in thirty day chunks... By the way, I think author of site is around your age.
I too started exercising this morning....first time in a long time. I recommend that we start a thirty day challenge thread to help keep us accountable on changes we are trying to make. We can start by focusing on exercise. In an earlier post, I said I was going to try to exercise each weekday. I think I'll change that to say I will exercise at least 20 minutes every day for thirty days. I am on day one. I want you to join me. We can help urge each other on. I think if we can accomplish that, it will give us confidence to undertake bigger challenges. Are you game?
Last edited by Millie; 08-16-2011 at 10:44 AM.
Die hard recovery fanatic
Great. I will start a new thread. My thought is to call it 30 day challenges and folks can post any type of challenge they want to undertake, and folks can join in if an interest or post a different one.