Page 3 of 3 First 123
  1. #41

    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Eastern Cape, South Africa
    Posts
    68
    My thread started out as so sad and worried and I should actually change it to should I forgive him... I started the thread in September 2011 when I was having all the problems with the my ex and it is now october 2013 and I feel that after all the turmoil, heartache and pain that I am on the road to recovery. I feel whole again but the road i travelled has not been an easy one and it still has its obstacles. My ex and I have been in contact, mostly because of the baby who is now 2.5 years old and he now wants to be part of our lives. He claims that he has changed and that things will be different, he will reimburse me for the damages that were done to the vehicle and make right all that he has done wrong... How does one do that.. How do you think you can just walk back into someone's life and fix things. Nothing can take away that pain, those insecurities.. In this two years I have been demoted from work, hospitalised, etc, etc, etc.. all because I was too much of an emotional wreck. I got to a point that I could not stop crying It was really, really bad.. but like I said I am on the path to recovery. I feel that I have forgiven him but that I cannot forget or put behind me all that he has done. Is that fare towards him??? Am I being cruel??? He seems to think that I should give him a chance... I don't know.. What I cannot understand is why now, why when I have just started to get my own life in order, started feeling human again. Is it normal that I feel a sense of guilt. That I still feel responsible for him???? Is it possible that we can be friends??? Will I ever be able to get over the resentment that just comes up from nowhere??? As usual I don't have the answers all I know is that I wish he had stayed out of my life.

  2. #42

    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    1,223
    alicidad, it's good you have forgiven him for past hurts - I know I have found power in forgiveness. But that doesn't mean you have to open the door for him to do it all over again. Until there is concrete evidence of change, it's all words. Hold your boundaries. Baby steps with him. I'm not trying to sound negative, but he has to prove himself to you. Don't let him bring you down. Screw guilt. Take care of yourself and your baby. Good luck!!!

  3. #43
    serena's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    199
    alicidad...You have to take care of YOU and your baby. You should never feel guilty about that. You said it best yourself...you are just now starting to get your life in order and feel normal. Don't let anyone take that away from you. Co-parent your child, but that is all you owe him. You have forgiven him and you share a son...that is the main focus for both of you. Your beautiful baby. Hope that helps.
    Serena

    "When everything seems like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top"

  4. #44

    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Eastern Cape, South Africa
    Posts
    68
    Thank you Carol and Serena.. well the niceness did not last very long. An entire month!!! This weekend was him sending me horrible texts the entire time.. all the salt water in the sea could not wash me clean after all the names I was called because I no longer wanted him. I cannot say them on this site because I am sure to be banned lol... I just cannot believe that I was so very nearly fooled again.

  5. #45

    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Eastern Cape, South Africa
    Posts
    68
    One would think that I would be right... but everything is just so messed up again.. atleast this time I am emotionally stronger to deal wtih it. Thank you so much all of you for the support. and Janneha your message came through just at the right time today. Thanks.

  6. #46

    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    9
    Can I ask, do you tend toward this kind of worrying with others, yourself, or both? Asking because the example you have was of you worrying for/about someone else.

    If it's others, does it tend to be a few, or one, select people/person?

  7. #47

    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Eastern Cape, South Africa
    Posts
    68
    Hi reckbates, I am not quite sure that I understand your question.. However in this thread i was specifically worried about someone else. I was basically telling what was happening to me at the time and the person referred to was my then fiance. Why do you ask?

Page 3 of 3 First 123

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Log in

Log in