1. #1

    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1

    New to forum, need advice

    I am a 35 year old, married women with two children. My husband is a recovering drug addict. He admited to his problem two years ago, and I was very supportive in getting him help. He has been clean for a year but in August of this year, he started abusing alcohol. He spends most of the weekends out with his "new" friends and I have found him sleeping it off at a girls house on several occassions. He says that his friends "care" about him and that they help him stay clean. How is that possible when all the do is drink? He might not be abusing pain killers, but in my mind he is abusing alcohol. That is a drug. Is that correct? Do most addicts go from one drugs to alcohol.

    It is killing our marriage and hurting the kids. I love him so much, and I want my husband back. I don't know how to help him see that these "friends" really don't care for him. If they did, they would see that he is once again going down a destructive path.

    I find that it is hard for me to set boundaries. I know that I need to do that, but I find it difficult. I want to understand his problem, and I want him to get help. I just don't know what do to do anymore. He says he loves me and the kids. I think he does, but he just cant see that this behavior is wrong. Yes, I am proud that he is clean from painkillers but I think he is using alcohol as a substitute.

    Any advice out there?

  2. #2
    Molly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Pacific Northwest USA
    Posts
    86
    Get thee to Al-Anon! I was married to a drink/druggie and tried to 'help' him see his problem for many years - fruitlessly. Lots of enabling. I wish I had been humble enough to ask for help. I've heard good things about Al-Anon. Good luck - there are likely many people here who have been through a similar experience.

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    IL
    Posts
    110
    Quote Originally Posted by Tina4 View Post
    I am a 35 year old, married women with two children. My husband is a recovering drug addict. He admited to his problem two years ago, and I was very supportive in getting him help. He has been clean for a year but in August of this year, he started abusing alcohol. He spends most of the weekends out with his "new" friends and I have found him sleeping it off at a girls house on several occassions. He says that his friends "care" about him and that they help him stay clean. How is that possible when all the do is drink? He might not be abusing pain killers, but in my mind he is abusing alcohol. That is a drug. Is that correct? Do most addicts go from one drugs to alcohol.

    It is killing our marriage and hurting the kids. I love him so much, and I want my husband back. I don't know how to help him see that these "friends" really don't care for him. If they did, they would see that he is once again going down a destructive path.

    I find that it is hard for me to set boundaries. I know that I need to do that, but I find it difficult. I want to understand his problem, and I want him to get help. I just don't know what do to do anymore. He says he loves me and the kids. I think he does, but he just cant see that this behavior is wrong. Yes, I am proud that he is clean from painkillers but I think he is using alcohol as a substitute.

    Any advice out there?
    You are correct. Alcohol is a drug. Possiblaly the deadliest one out there. Withdraws can cause seizers and death. Driving while intoxicated could kill him or someone else and a DUI will run close to $10,000. He may have stopped taking vicodin but he is still an addict. AND WITH HIM DRINKING REGULARY, IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME TILL HE'S BACK ON THOSE TOO. You need to set a zero tolerance boundry with him. That mean NO DRUGS OR ALCOHOL!!!!!!! God Bless!

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Posts
    1
    stay hydrated, sleep alot, move around and do things as much as you can both physically and mentally. Keep yourself busy. I had an obsession with taking baths.

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    12
    Environment and friends play a huge role in keeping one's sobriety. My son was influenced by his friends and in order for him to stay focus in his drug addiction recovery, we decided to moved in Colorado. I hope your husband is ok now tina from the fact that this thread is old. I would love hear from you. Stay strong.

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    1
    Great post! Thanks for sharing us
    Mendigas.com Webcam sexo

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Log in

Log in