Warning: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in ..../includes/class_bootstrap.php(430) : eval()'d code on line 111
Worrisome news about my ex wife
  1. #1

    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    2

    Worrisome news about my ex wife

    I was told at a school reunion of sorts that my ex-wife (of some 33 years) had lost her home, job, and family and friend contacts due to her addiction to alcohol. I am trying to track her down, but have yet to be successful. So I don't know the details, but those that have had contact seem to indicate the alcohol is the problem, and it has been for many years. I was glad to find this site as it is giving me a perspective on what to do, and not do, and what I might expect. I was really just hoping to be a "new" friend in her life and one that might help direct and influence her to seek help. It just seems so sad. She does have a daughter and son, but I have not attempted to contact them yet. I guess I am just looking for any advise from those more experienced in the sort of situation.

  2. #2
    Periwinkle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    345
    I'm sorry that your ex-wife is apparently struggling with this disease. I can't really give you advice on how to approach this situation as every case and every person is different, I can only share my experiences. I understand that you want to help her, to maybe give support and obviously you still care about her. You may want to check out Al-anon which is a support group for anyone (friends, family, past alcoholics, co workers and etc) that has been affected by alcohol for guidance, and for you as a caring person in their life, how to set boundaries so that you don't become a co-dependent in their life to enable or hinder their recovery. Yes, some forms of caring can hinder the recovery process and as tough as it is to watch the ones we love do this to theirselves, honestly, there isn't a damn thing you can DO for them. You can CARE for them in a healthy way, to offer support when they are making efforts towards recovery, but until then, you have to step to the side and let them hit their bottom. Probably not the answer you want to hear and may sound cold. There is a great support group here, but honestly, most of us come from the drinker perspective and can perhaps provide insight. We don't get as many folks from the other side, just occasionally, thus why I recommended checking out an Al-anon program in your area (try a few of them as like people, they are all unique) http://www.al-anon.org/ On the main page of Spiritual River, you will see articles that may help also in guiding you. http://www.spiritualriver.com/how-to...-visual-guide/ and http://www.spiritualriver.com/convin...ion-treatment/ was posted recently. You can also search for other very informative articles here that may help you. I wish you luck and will keep your ex in my thoughts that she will find her way through this~
    Last edited by Periwinkle; 12-08-2013 at 03:56 PM.

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    2
    Your response is helpful, both navigating through the site, and your references. I was interested in reaching out, as best I could. I wanted to understand how best to approach the situation beforehand and what to expect. I do understand that ultimately it will be her decision. I haven't been able to locate her yet so possibly she is "living on the street" as one of her friends commented. It's hard for me to believe, as she was very self-assured and driven in the past, but as I mentioned it has been years since I saw her, and then it was only briefly.

  4. #4
    Periwinkle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    345
    It's sad how low we can go to feed our addictions. Will keep praying for her~

  5. #5
    Chad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    1,499
    The sad part is you may find her and until she is ready there is nothing you can do.. Just make sure you are ready for whatever the outcome.. The disease is in control right now.. I wish you all the best and hopefully you find her and she is ready to be free..

    Chad
    “Well, if it can be thought, it can be done, a problem can be overcome”

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Tempe, AZ
    Posts
    20
    When did you last saw her? What would you do if you found her? I really don't know what to say but to keep praying that she's okay.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Log in

Log in