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Struggling...Help!
  1. #1

    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    2

    Struggling...Help!

    Hi,

    I am new to this website and I don't really know where to start..I am 42 years old and been a heavy drinker since my mid twenties. I am from London and it's just the way people socialise, alcohol is a part of everything. Within the last couple of years I am going to class myself as an alcoholic, it has destroyed every good thing I have ever had - relationships, house, car, job, friends I have lost it all due to alcohol. Last year I tried to end my life and took a codeine/paracetamol overdose my Mother found me and called an ambulance and she had to witness the paramedics perform CPR on me because my heart had stopped and I had stopped breathing. I spent five days in hospital with all sorts of tubes and things hanging out of me. This you would of thought would of stopped me drinking but as soon as I left hospital and after all the upset I caused my family I drank almost immediately because I couldn't deal with all the pain I caused. I have come to live with my Mother for a while and I am 16 days sober the longest I have gone without a drink since my early twenties. The first week was hell on earth - sickness, sweats, shakes, delerium I thought I wasn't going to make it. Today I feel physically good but mentally exhausted. I mentioned earlier that alcohol has destroyed my life and my living situation is hell, my ex girlfriend who I am still very much in love with and adore is my next door but one neighbor so I see her all the time out of the window and now she has started dating again it is destroying me. I can't stay at my Mums much longer it's not fair on her and I am dreading going home.

    Any advice would be much appreciated.

    Al x

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    2,100
    Hey albob,
    16 days is excellent.. Well done..
    Sounds like you have a few things you need to sort in your life but the first (as you've obviously correctly identified) is your drinking so that's a good start.
    You've found a good site here, if you switch to the thread most people update which is 'how to stop drinking' on drinking problems and alcoholism bit.
    Everyone is really friendly and encouraging and it's good to see someone else from UK on here as there aren't many of us and it can be a bit lonely until mid afternoon...
    Can you stay at your mums until you feel a bit stronger at least? Hopefully kicking the booze will help you regain your confidence and help you go and take on the world again?? Rebuild your life when you feel ready?
    Last year I couldn't get past twenty days but with help of people on this forum and a bit of self control I've managed longer now...
    Xx

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    2,100
    Sorry - should have also mentioned... Read back through the main thread... There's lots of wise words and good advice...
    X

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    378
    I agree, Albob - all of our stories have some different details, but it's amazing how many common threads run through them... they tie us all together and bring a comfort, no matter how small it starts, that we are NOT alone. We aren't just crazy, or weak, or stupid, or flawed, or lazy, or etc etc etc ...

    Please try turning to the How to Stop Drinking thread; it is so powerful and it is full of a month or more of reading since it started in 2010 (I believe) in a comment thread from Patrick's article How To Stop Drinking ---- which is how many of us found this site - as I did, googling in desperation "how to stop drinking".

    I read the article, then I started reading the comments, and over the next couple of months I DEVOURED the forum, reading for an hour or two a day, "meeting" so many people with so many stories and feeling myself drawn in like I'd found a second home. These stories gave me hope and they gave me consolation - hope because there were successes - consolation because there were so many people reaching out in frustration just like me.

    I was desperate and terrified when I found this forum. A few months later, I first signed in to this forum, so scared and paranoid I put my daughter's unused email in instead of my real one. I had managed to string together 10 sober days at that point. That was over a year ago now. The stories and dramas and goods and bads and comings and goings of many many wonderful, struggling, desperate, but determined people on this forum, somehow helped me kick a spiral I'd been stuck in by various degrees since college. Decades, I'm talkin.

    I don't know if it can help inspire you as well - I pray that it can and it does Don't give up, you're on to something GOOD here and it is so worth holding on to with all the strength you can !

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    2
    Hi, Thank you so much for your reply...I always thought I was unique with my problems and my relationship with alcohol. I spent all day yesterday reading various posts, and I know a lot of them were quite emotional many were vary positive. This site is a welcoming relief as it has taught me that I am not alone. I'm going to stay at my Mums for another two weeks. I Am dreading going home but I know I have to try and face up to things and face facts because a life of drinking is not living in the real world.

    Once again thank you of your kind reply it was very refreshing to wake up to.

    Best wishes


    X
    Last edited by Albob; 02-16-2014 at 02:28 AM.

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    2
    been a long time since a post on this thread, but I was 40 when I gave up the drink,hang in there Bob if you're still reading this!

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    5
    You can do it bob!

  8. #8

    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    18
    Bob, your starting approach is very good. I think you'll be able to control your addiction problem. Just be confident and feel all time that you can do it.

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